The woes of wedding politics: Who to invite.
Planning your wedding is probably one of the most exciting and stressful things you can do! You are marrying the love of your life and celebrating it with all your nearest and dearest, what could possibly go wrong? You want a personal stamp on your day, a reflection of you both as a couple and the love you have for one another. The thing is when you are dealing with large numbers of your family and friends mixed with the emotion of a wedding there are going to be clashes. So I thought I would highlight a few here over the coming weeks.
Who to invite.
Now this probably one of the earlier stresses. Putting together your guest list. Unless you have decided to have a very small intimate elopement you are going to be dealing with an average number of between 80-150 people who you will want to share this day with. Of course budget comes into play here as each person will cost you some of your carefully saved wedding budget. So how do you decide? Some of us have huge families and if you have parents contributing financially they might also want to invite some of their friends. I have heard awful stories of genuine family feuds over not having an invite to a wedding.
Ultimately its your day and your money, its down to you who you want there. But there are tactics. By this point you should have your venue so you will know your limit and the cost per head so you will have your number.
Write out a list of people you want to invite. Who are important to you both and you know you can't possibly can't celebrate this day without. Often I find this list isn't huge as it usually consists of immediate family and those friends you spend the majority of your time with.
After that write out the list of people you feel should be there after those priority people, maybe give your parents 6 people to invite for themselves (remember they are probably super proud that your getting married and they most definitely want to be able to share that with some of their friends) This list often will consist of cousins, work colleagues, people you haven't seen for a couple of years, old housemates etc immediately highlight the people who can just come to the evening do (If you are adding numbers for the evening of course) Then you should have a pretty manageable number to work down to the final amount.
A simple rule if you haven't exchanged any contact with someone in over 2yrs then its probably not needed to invite them.
Another thing to consider is plus ones. Do you or don't you. In all honesty this ultimately comes down to budget. If you can afford plus ones and the venue supports the numbers then the more the merrier! If you can't then don't worry about what others think. The people you are inviting love you and will know this your day and will understand, if they don't then tbh I wouldn't even invite them. But I am a little blunt like that. Again the evening guest option comes in handy at this point also.
We come to my main point though. This is YOUR day not your guests. Anyone of your family members or friends who love and care about you are going to be supportive no matter what you decide to do! This day is about you and your fiance coming together and committing your lives to one another and who you want to celebrate that with is entirely your decision! Having the confidence to give people a polite reminder of this won't do any harm at all.
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